Talking about Money, Power, and Love with Parents

Care Conversations supplies a lovely list of suggested books on caregiving. They also make some handbooks available on their site. Here at Encompass, we encourage research but also understand sifting through the vast amount of information and perspectives on the options and considerations for your parent can be daunting.

In this blog post, we will look at one handbook provided by Care Conversations, Fire Drill by John W. Gibson, DSW, and Bonnie Brown Hartley, Ph.D. The handbook introduces the concept of a familys Bermuda triangle” or three big things that shift in a family during aging: money, power, and love. The handbook suggests that expectations on money, power, and love need to be discussed and possibly made flexible as loved ones age. This sort of explanation behind their handbook seems a bit harsh and simplistic, but they provide some nice questions that prompt discussion between family members that Encompass Omaha finds helpful. Changes occur inevitably and it is helpful to map out exactly what your loved one wants, needs, and what is available to him or her.

Some of the questions the handbook prompts are:

• What are your top priorities for the years you may have left? How can you assure you have the time and energy you need to give to these priorities?
• Will care in your own home be financially and logistically feasible?
• How much living space do you need?
• Are the bedroom and bathroom easily accessible now, and would they continue to be in case of increased limitation in mobility?

There are questions pertaining to the decision to move as well:

• Are you aware of local services that could help you through difficult situations?
• Will you have adequate opportunity to form new relationships?
• Will you have to climb stairs?
• Is transportation to stores, places of worship, and other services available?
• What is the history of increases in monthly fees?

Here are Encompass we help guide people through these kinds of questions daily. Sometimes talking about these changes seems overwhelming, which is where Encompass expertise and experience with Nebraska-specific services may ease this transition for your family. The logistics that we specialize in handling are often the ones that would distract you from the most important part of taking care of your loved ones, which is spending quality time with them.

 

You can find the Fire Drill handbook here.

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